Reacting to 2 curve balls

Fall of 2010.
2 curve balls.

1. I will be turning 50 years old.
2. I will be an empty nester.

WOW.. how did that happen? Where did the time go?
Hmmm.
Well, the first 25 years was pure and simple my years of growing up. Ok. makes sense-that counts for half of the time but what about the next 25 years?

The next 25 years were the years of kids and establishing a career. WOW. 25 years of being a Mom to 4 children and working hard to create a successful career.

When I reflect back to those last 25 years, I am very hard pressed to say that I would change very much. They were busy and crazy years but of course they were. I had numerous schedules to juggle. But wow... they were great years. And I wouldn't change a thing with regards to my kids. If anything I would change more in the first 25 years but hey those were growing up years. We didn't even understand consequences of our choices at that age!

This past summer I knew that it would be my last summer with Chelsea at home and that in a few months I would be an empty nester. Such horrible stories from some mothers - depression, crying, feeling of no purpose. WOW... what was I in for? And add to that I am turning 50?

I wondered what was going to be in store for me?

I remember Chelsea pulling out of the drive way, car packed and feeling somewhat blue and thinking to myself, well, here is comes. BUT I went to work, continued with my personal projects, continued going to the gym, continued with my life and voila - I was and am fine. What were they talking about?

Purpose? I still have a purpose.
Family? I still have a family - they just don't live with me all the time....
Communication? I still communicate with my kids. In fact there isn't a day goes by that at least 2 of them bbm or talk to me.
Career? I still have a career.
Love? I still have love.
Turning 50? nope - nothing there either. When I turned 40 I felt so wonderful and liberated, fulfilled I couldn't believe it. Now that I am turning 50...I feel great.

So what is different?

I have some more time. I have more time to do some of the things on my bucket list. I have more time to travel. I have more time to give to the community. I have more time to continue learning and doing other things. I have time to think. I have more time to really work on myself and grow and learn spiritually. I have time to work on me.

So what is the down side?
Not sure. Because I am not feeling anything negative at all.

I am living true to myself. I have a routine yet I have spontaneity as well.
I have purpose and a focus but time to forward think and plan the next 25 years.
I am the most fit that I have been in 10 years but know that I will get even more fit.


Yes... 2 big curve balls have come and gone... and I have never felt happier and more content.

I am not size 6 - but a healthy fit size 9/10 works for me.
I am not a millionaire - but I am doing just fine.
I do not live in a mansion - but oh my - I lost that desire many years ago.
I have 4 kids who love their MOM and love to be with me.
I have a career that exceeds my expectations.
I have friends and family who love me.
I am healthy - not a pill in sight.

What I have is plentiful. What I can give is in abundance. What is ahead of me is exciting and inspiring.

So I say to those 2 curve balls. Let's play ball.

The Best Game is most likely yet to come.

It must be Fall

It must be Fall as I again have the urge to write.

Fall is a symbol for endings, for relaxation and for taking time to regroup.
I think it is Mother Nature's way to say, sit down and relax, enjoy, slow down & restore.

and so... I begin to write again.

Stay tuned.

The MOM

EASTER MORNING..... new joys with adult children

There are moments in your life when you are older when you know instinctively that they are special moments; moments that you will remember and cherish forever. You can feel how special they are deep within your soul. When you reflect on them, your heart is warm.

Easter Sunday morning 2010 was one of those moments in time for me.

I decided that this Easter I would decorate cupcakes for Easter dessert. It has been years since cupcakes were the dessert of choice so I thought that this year I would make chocolate ice cream bowls and Easter Cupcakes.

And when it came to decorating the cupcakes, my youngest 17 year old daughter wanted to help. It started out with Chelsea wanting to just make one but then she got the 'bug'. She wanted to decorate more. In the end we each decorated about 12 cupcakes and what fun. Chelsea got into it so much that she was even researching on the web decorating ideas. And boy was she good at it!

As you can see, it was a bit of a mess. We mixed colours, used every topping found in my kitchen and created some magic. I had a wonderful time and we couldn't wait to share with the family at dinner that night.

thanks for the memory Chelsea... I can't wait to do it again with you sometime.

love

THE MOM

Sorting out Memories

As I contemplate another move, it seems time to deal with some of the boxes of stuff that I have been moving with me over the last 15 years. These boxes are things that are full of 'important" stuff that I can't throw out but I need to find another way to deal with them.

So the first couple of boxes that I am tackling are the boxes full of notes, letters, crafts, cards from my kids when they were much younger. So much stuff, so much love in these boxes but it is taking up space. It is time to do something with them.

I decided to sort them all out. Put them into piles "from each child". Boy was that interesting. As I sorted the piles it was clear that the youngest had way more in her pile than the oldest child. I laughed at this as it seemed like justice. This is the opposite of the photo albums as the oldest certainly has more pictures than the baby of the family. So in the end I said to myself - this is all balancing all out somehow lol.

So what I have decided to do is to add my favourites to my scrapbook collection. Take all of the real special ones, the real funny ones and collage them into some scrapbook papers. What fun this has turned out to be. What laughter in these notes. Comments like "sorry I ate all the cookies mom... I love you, you are the best mom in the 'hole' wide world. I love you with all my 'hart'. I will always look after you!!" Spelling aside these notes give me flashbacks to the kids when they were little. It is funny how you only remember the good times and not all the work that was associated with being a parent of little ones.

Today I am glad they ate the cookies. I am sure I wasn't all that happy at the time because it just meant that I had to make more in a very busy time of my life. Or perhaps I had made them for that evenings dessert. But today, go for it... eat the cookies. Eat all the cookies. I will make more for you.

Today I give food and cookies away all the time. I still make lunches when asked. I make lunches for girlfriends and boyfriends too! I make special breakfasts for kids. Funny how things change.

And I am not getting notes anymore but I know that I am teaching them something more important. Sharing and giving. That is what a parent should be. Making the lives of their children easier. And I love doing it.

Oh they say thank you and I laugh saying... hey you never know when I may need a lunch when I am really really old. And you knows... that just might be true. But I know I will get it because they will remember what I did for them.

So to my kids.

I cherish all of your notes, your art work and I have selected several and have compiled a few scrapbook pages for us to walk down memory lane. They are here for you to share with your kids and for us to remember how blessed we are to have each other.

I love you. And remember - come over for some cookies. They are here waiting for you.

"The Mom"

Lessons from the HEART 4.0

I am going to write something that I feel that my kids will need to know and reference in the years to come. As the purpose of this blog is for my kids to resource when needed, it seems that the topic of depression is an important topic to write about. I am no expert on this topic but like 90% of the population who at one time or another, I have experienced days or moments or times of my life that could be characterised as sad, the blues or depression.

have never been medicated for any depression as I was really adamant that I would work thru anything. But please know, that there is nothing wrong with medication if you really really need it. Just make sure you really need it.

Your great grandmother Jones experienced a deep depression and I believe that this was passed on your my mother, your Grandma Allen. I am not sure if my mother's depression was environmental or genetic but your Grandma Allen was surely depressed. If I had to assess it myself, I believe that Grandma Allen had both environmental and situational depression. Environmental from the fact that she saw her mother behave like this so she deemed it to be normal (or beneficial) but also situational as her life certainly may have lead to a deep sadness and many regrets.

I experienced postpartum blues with you, Jamie. I hid it so well that no one not even your Dad knew that I had it. But I did. And it was tough and lasted for a few weeks. But I just worked thru it. It was not right perhaps to not get help but that was how I handled it. And if I had to do it all over again, I am sure that I would do it the same way again.

Having said all this, I do believe that the term depression is used too loosely in our western society. I need you to understand that everyone experiences sadness and the blues. Everyone feels down and lonely, and discouraged. Everyone feels like throwing in the towel from time to time. This is normal. Situations in your life will cause you to feel sadness. Deaths, divorces, empty nesting, loss of a job, parenting challenges, financial struggles, hormonal, boredom... so many things....can cause you to feel this way. And you may be sad for a long time or it may be just a day. It may truly be a depression but in more times than not, you are just having the blues.

Depression is when:

• hobbies and friends do not interest you


• you are exhausted all the time - all day long


• you feel like you are living in a black hole


• your eating, appetite, your sleeping habits all change


• you self loathe


• you may be in physical pain with aches


• it is more than sadness - it is a deep consistent relentless sadness


• you remove yourself from society

And depression lasts longer and is much stronger than sadness.

LESSONS from the HEART 4.0
So my children, when life's struggles hit you smack in the face and in my terms, you just do not feel like "playing today"... here is a list of things that have always helped me to bounce back.

From my perspective:

• Keep busy. Have a schedule and keep to it. Make a list of what you want to accomplish regardless of how small or meaningless the things on the list may seem to be.


• Get a job or get involved in volunteer work. Everyone needs a purpose and children can only be the purpose for a small portion of your life. Contribute to society.


• For my daughters - Get a good girlfriend - one that you can trust and tell your secrets too. It may be a sister or a friend, or even your mother. Someone you can really trust with you inner feelings.


• Journal. Write your feelings down. Even send yourself a letter.


• Pray. Faith will get you thru everything one day at a time. Write God a letter. Talk to your angels.


• Read a book - a good positive self-improvement book.


• Allow yourself one day in bed if you need to to feel sorry for yourself. Take a mental health sick day. But just one day. Then you need to literally kick yourself out of bed. You must get out of bed.


• Speak positive inner thoughts - you are stronger than this. Write them down if you need to remember them and read them frequently.


• AND don't feel like you are the only person going thru this and everyone else's lives are great. This is such a myth. EVERYONE has problems. Trust me on that one. Some are just more obvious than others.

REMEMBER what I have said: "everyone has a pile of shit in their life. Some days, the pile is just small and you easily skip over it and ignore it. Some days or even weeks it is huge and it takes so much energy to walk around it. But eventually you do. Just remember that every one's pile size changes. And yours will too!"

And keep in mind. If you never experience sad days, you can't experience happy days. You need to feel the opposite feeling to really cherish the contrasting feeling.

And when and if you ever feel really bad, know that I am here for you - one way or another I will be there for you! Be it in person or in these words written for you.

Love the 'MOM'.

CHRISTMAS BAKING & HOMEMADE CHOCOLATES .. it's a tradition

Well yesterday was my baking day for all of my traditional Christmas goodies. After my whirlwind week of travel and work, the last thing I wanted to do is spend a day cooking. But I did. I did it because Christmas is steeped in traditions and family and therefore I would not let my children down by not making my traditional selection of home made chocolates and cookies for Christmas Eve.

So off I went with my chocolate, my pecans and peanut butter... and out of those came my "home made turtles, millionaires fudge, buckeyes and almond toffee bark and more "-all the favourite sweets with my kids.

Every year, the kids dive into these treats and thoroughly enjoy them. And every year until I can cook no more, will I make them for them.

I thought of these traditions when I made my shortbread cookies. My Mom's recipe was used and I am so lucky to have received Mom's original cookie cutters. Mom gave these to me a few years ago when she passed the torch of shortbread cookies to me. She was getting to an age when she just didn't want to make one more batch of these cookies and so I was lucky enough to receive the cutters. When I was looking for my own set of cookie cutters I could never find ones that were perfect like Mom's. Mom's cutters were perfect in size and had all of the shapes that I wanted. So I was thrilled when Mom came to my house one day and gave these to me.

It is these small traditions that are important to me at Christmas. Regardless of where we are in life, I will keep these traditions alive and well. And I look forward to the new traditions that are created when I am baking cookies with my girls in their own homes with their own children.

I know that someday, I will be boxing up my chocolate molds and recipes and giving them to one of my daughters to carry on the tradition. But not yet..."I've got lots of cooking and baking left in me. "

So enjoy all the treats of Christmas.

And thanks Mom for the cookie cutters - they were used again this year.

Love
"the MOM"

CHRISTMAS 2009 It's here!

It is Christmas time and I am starting to get excited about this year. Things are starting to change as the kids are starting to think about their own traditions and their own families. But I am thrilled that this year our Christmas eve tradition continues.

So what is our tradition?

Well Christmas Eve we eat, laugh, open gifts, go back and eat some more, drink and then laugh some more. And did I say eat? Yes lots of wonderful food and appetizers.

This year we are going to have the Christmas eve party at Brittany's. Sounds great to me. Many of us will stay over night and everyone will wake up to coffee and my home made blueberry muffins - another Christmas morning tradition.

But I can't help but to look forward to the future. I am so looking forward to all the different Christmas's I will have in the next 40+ years (lol). I know that not everyone will be able to get together on Christmas Eve. As Grand kids come, they will take priority and should be in their own homes. So I wonder how many homes I will be invited to on Christmas eve???? lol But man, I can't wait to enjoy them all.

But back to this year. This year I am organized, shopping was done before December even started, menus written, house decorated and and even the stockings are filled- ready to be driven by Santa to Brittany's house.

I am looking forward to giving everyone their gifts. And yes I think I have spoiled them again. But I can so I will. I don't care about what I get anymore. I guess I have finally grown up. I have everything a MOM could need: 4 amazing healthy kids, my health, a great career, a great cozy little house, my Faith and lots of love.

Thank you Santa ... just bring things for my kids. Oh yes... don't forget my little dog. Silly me. She has a stocking as well. Some treats please?

"the Mom"

DYING...

One of the best Birthday gifts to me is this picture and message.
It states:

First, I was dying to finish my high school and start college
And then I was dying to finish college and start working
then I was dying to marry and have children
then I was dying for my children
to grow old enough
so I could go back to work
But then I was dying to retire
and now I am dying...
and suddenly I realized
I forgot to live.

Today is my 49th birthday and I look so forward to the next 40 years.
I will stop working only when my body stops
I will stop looking after my kids only when my mind stops working
I will stop.... only when I am forced to... and not before.

Love 'the MOM'

Thanksgiving 2009

I love HOLIDAYS. I love to cook. I love to have big family meals.

AND I love having my kids and their friends/partner's around. I love to hear them talk about their lives and what is going on with them. I am happy at HOLIDAYS.

Last night Jason was laughing so much that tears were rolling down his face.

Chelsea was laughing at Jason, then Brittany started to laugh as well.

I can't express to you how fortunate I feel and how I am thrilled I am that I have 4 kids.

I know that HOLIDAYS will be shared with other families as the kids find their life partners so that is why having 4 kids is fabulous. Jamie couldn't be here with us this Thanksgiving as she is in Kenya. This is going to happen. There are going to be times when not all of the kids can come. But at least with 4 kids, I will still have a couple of kids and families that will be able to make it. Ahhh. the beauty of 4 kids at last. lol

Today the day after Thanksgiving, there are still some kids here. 2 slept over. 1 boyfriend slept over and one arrived at lunch to raid the refrigerator for all of his favourite foods. Yup. I love it.

I love it when Jason pops in. I love it when I have my kids sleeping here. I love it when their friends are here.

I love HOLIDAYS. And as long as I am physically able to I will cook and bake for them.

I am so blessed to have my kids. 4 great people.

Man, I am so lucky.

So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for my 3 kids at Thanksgiving dinner table and Jamie who is the bravest person I know for volunteering in Kenya.

Ahhh, not too worry Jamie, another big family meal upon your arrival home.

Perfect.... another time that I can cook and bake and have a family meal.

love the MOM.

Transitions and Changes

It is the summer of 09. The Summer of change.


Before the summer started I instinctively sensed a new beginning. I told my partner at work one day... a change is coming. I can feel it. There was no fear or terror, it was a change in life that was to take place.
And it is was noticeable during my vacation week in July that the change has arrived as I spent time with my girls on their own.


My 4 kids and I used to be one entity. Regardless of where we lived, we were one family. But this summer, I know that that singular path we all walked has divided. I am walking slightly behind them. They are at a fork in the road. It feels like sometimes they turn around to wave at me, or ask me to come their way and then sometimes it feels like they don't even know I am there.

I am sure that to some of you this is very abstract and even crazy but I have always been able to feel and sense things that others couldn't. But it is more than sensing them. It is the reality of the summer of 09. The transition summer.


Jamie is heading towards a singular path of exploring and learning and deciding. There is no one else on her path and she likes it just that way. She is pushing thru her homesickness and learning how to deal with the unknown. She is searching and she will find it.


Brittany is on a traditional path - a bit of school is left but she is focused on building a household and home for herself and Brent. Her path is wide as it has room for 2 and more.


Jason is on his path of manhood and is sometimes a little reckless and carefree but he is still on the straight and narrow. He is the one who really doesn't look back too much. He is taking some leaps and bounds away from the clan. But when he looks back at me, he winks a special wink for me.


And Chelsea is slower to reach the fork in the road. She is in her last year of high school. It is like she is sitting at the beginning of the fork in the road and just planning and planning and thinking and thinking and having fun. Her new set of wheels has given her the freedom to choose what she is doing and where she is going. And she is growing up fast.

And then there is my path. The Mom. Slightly faded as it spreads gently over all 4 paths. There is a strong solid line inside my own path which is my own personal foot prints. I have my own path to follow but from time to time I crisscross back and forth to the paths of my kids but always returning to my own path.
And so it begins, the Transition. The summer of 09.


When the 'one' has turned into 5.


And I watch them go with a heavy heart but yet a proud heart.

The mere fact that all of them are able to walk towards the fork in the road and walk on their own path is the sign that I did good. I the MOM, did it. I prepared them well and they are ready to go off on their own.

Oh they will be back for brief visits but it will never be the same. We have a new reality.

And we will enjoy and love this new reality.

LAUGHTER FOR ALL WOMEN!!!

For all of us who have read the secret, listened to positive motivational tapes, read those books and who exercise (or try to get into a solid routine... ) this one is for you. Be prepared to laugh out loud. I did!! ENJOY!!

This is hilarious!

Just click on the pic....

Watch Episode 9: Motivate for Only in A Woman's World.

I am so "BLESSED"

Today as I sat on my front porch reflecting upon my day, my mind wandered to my kids.

Let me tell you about my day:

First off I slept in until 7.30 am which is a huge sleep-in for me. I wandered downstairs to start my day. A typical morning of letting my dog out, making my coffee, bringing the dog back in, giving her breakfast, pouring my coffee, grabbing my books, my dog and journal and then off to my covered porch. But this am, my oldest daughter Jamie popped by at 8.00am with her coffee in hand and we both went to the porch to enjoy coffee together for about 30 minutes. We had a great chat.

Shortly after that, my youngest daughter Chelsea woke up and we chatted until she was off as well. Always fun with the Chelsea.

After a long coffee morning, I went out to garden to putter around. This, by the way, is my perfect moment - my perfect place. I am at true peace each and every time I am in my garden.

Then the men to remove the old dead tree in my backyard showed up which was fabulous because I have been wanting them to come for a few weeks. I watched them take down the tree and then my 2nd daughter Brittany arrived. We watched the tree come down together, made a sandwich and off to the porch we went. I think we sat out on the porch for over 1 hour chatting about our futures until it was time for her to go to work. It was wonderful.

I went back to my gardening and then I cut the grass

Then a black truck pulled up and out jumped my son Jason and his new girl friend. Jason was just checking to see if everything went well with the tree removal and if I was happy with it. My wonderful son - just checking in to see if the "MOM" was happy with everything. I was so off he went again.

I returned to cutting the grass, finished up my work, showered and have returned to my porch with my dog, some gardening magazines and my journal.

Ahhh.. Yes I am reflecting. My kids. I am simply blessed. There is no other way to describe it. Despite the fact that so many times I was exhausted with having 4 young ones to look after, the reward is clearly here now. Fortunately, we are all living in close proximity and therefore this pop in for a quick chat with the "MOM" is the normal routine. I love it. I simply love it.

TODAY, I am expressing my gratitude to my kids. I am so blessed to have the 4 kids that I have. I wouldn't have choosen it any other way.

Love to you all...

The "MOM"

JUNE 25 2009

TODAY....

The Heavens are enjoying beauty and music.

The Angels are singing backup for Michael ...just for tonight

There is a pain free life for Farrah and her beauty has returned,

Brighter than ever under God's magnificent Light.

TONIGHT....

The moon walk may truly be on the moon.

Rest in Peace

And may we all realize just a little bit more that tomorrow is never for sure.

the "MOM"

THINGS ABOUT ME

To my kids:
One day I asked myself "what was my mother's favourite season?" and I didn't know.
So for those years to come when you wonder...
What was my Mom's favourite season?























My favourite season is without a doubt... summer time.
I love to be warm and in fact I still sleep with a duvet in the summer and in the winter 2 duvets some nights. Yup... I love to be WARM.

I love...

summer drinks,















sunshine
gardening
cutting the grass
making things beautiful outside
fresh vegetables













fresh strawberry jam











flowers boxes

COLOUR in nature and lots of it
outdoor rooms













no coats,
no shoes
bathing suits
(and of course bathing suit cover ups lol)
a golden tan
bbq food
ice cream











cold beer
going for walks
swimming
talks on the porch outside
beach
golfing









the breeze on my face













the sounds of nature
windows open rather than AC.
waking up to birds chirping
covered porches
and Watermelon... lots of it.













I love summer the best.
Love the "MOM"

Books & Memories featuring "Love you Forever"

Here is my favourite Children's Book.

All of you kids will recognize it as we read it over and over and then some more.

All of you have your own personalized copy from me for your keepsake box.

And I have a copy too thanks to Jamie who gave me a copy of it back one year!!

The books is about love and the cycle of life.

It's about 'I look after you then you look after me.'

It is about looking after your children to the fullest, giving them all of you - support, unconditional love, kindness, forgiveness, being there for them regardless of their circumstances, their friends, their spouses, their life style, their decisions or their choices.

then.... they will do the same for you.

I promise that to my kids.

I now know how important it is to have a parents unconditional non- judgemental love and support. I know that I am the best Mom that I can be. And I also know what kind of grandparent I want to be and will be. I will be an active participant in their lives. I will be generous with them, share with them, love them and support them. They will adore their grandma and I will adore them even more. But most importantly, I am so glad that this is different than how I was raised. I am so glad that I have been taught an invaluable lesson this past year.

So to my kids, as the book goes...

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

as long as I'm living

my baby you'll be."

Here is the history of the book. Who knew that such a book came from such heartache.

Here is Robert Munsch's story:

"I made that up after my wife and I had two babies born dead. The song was my song to my dead babies. For a long time I had it in my head and I couldn't even sing it because every time I tried to sing it I cried. It was very strange having a song in my head that I couldn't sing.
For a long time it was just a song but one day, while telling stories at a big theatre at the University of Guelph, it occurred to me that I might be able to make a story around the song.
Out popped Love You Forever, pretty much the way it is in the book.
My regular publisher felt that it was not really a kid's book and I ended up doing it with another publisher.
One day the publisher called up and said "This is very strange. It is selling very well in retirement communities in Arizona. It is selling in retirement communities where kids are illegal. This is supposed to be a children's book. What is going on?"
"Grownups are buying it for grownups!"
In fact, it turned out that parents buy it for grandparents and grandparents buy it for parents and kids buy it for everybody and everybody buys it for kids.
As a matter of fact, everybody buys it for everybody. "

I look forward to reading "love you forever" to my 'grand kids' some day... over and over again. How wonderful!

Kids... remember these?? Other books we read over and over again. I STILL HAVE THEM!!

"Love you Forever"

the 'MOM'

The event of the week June 2009

Where did she go?

Here is my daughter. Her name is Chelsea and this week she is no longer my little girl. She is no longer needing to depend on me for everything.

This week, this little girl no longer needs her tricycle, or her bicycle or her roller blades.

This week my little baby has her Drivers License and is able to hop in the car and go wherever she needs to go.

Oh, she is still sporting her big beautiful smile with those large gorgeous blue eyes but she has much more hair and much better coordination!! She has traded in those pink rubber boots for flip flops.

I am very proud of Chelsea especially how she took it upon herself to ensure her success.

She graduated from Drivers Education much earlier than her actual testing day so she asked her instructor for extra lessons closer to the day of the exam. In fact, the instructor even gave her a lesson the morning of the test. I didn't even know about this until the lessons started up again. Chelsea planned this herself. This extra preplanning and forward thinking is nothing short of brilliant. So many people do not have this foresight.

On the morning of her test day when her instructor and her were doing one final parallel parking, Chelsea didn't know it at the time, but the car waiting behind her turned out to be her testing instructor. So he saw her do a perfect parking even before the test began!! Now that gave her confidence for sure.

So, for me, where did my baby go? Where did the time go? Well it went... working, playing, teaching, training, raising this baby and driving her around. Now I can stroke off "the driving around" part. And yes maybe she's not my baby anymore.

I think she still needs me though lol.

Hmmm.
Congrats Chelsea

You did awesome but I knew you would.

love ya forever

THE MOM

Sand Sculpture Treasure Island Florida

IT'S 5:00 SOMEWHERE!!!

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

In loving memory of a Mother and a Grandmother

Mom

May 30, 2008

God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.

He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.

He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.

His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain.

And knew that you would never get well on earth again.

He saw your path was difficult, he closed your tired eyes.

He whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly.

You've left us precious memories, your love will be our guide.

You live on through your children, you're always by our side.

It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.

For part of us went with you on the Day God called you home.

we miss you

LESSONS from the HEART 3.0

Words of Wisdom

Well I often wonder what I am going to write on the next blog and sometimes I even wonder if I will continue writing this blog. But each and every time I think about putting the bloggin' on hold, there seems to be something happen or someone who inspires me to write to my kids. This happened to me a few days before I arrived in Florida.

So what inspired me? I was reading my Niece's blog and the comments. One of the comments that caught my attention was made by her Mother (my sister Susan) and it gave me pause so I feel that this should be the topic of my next "Lessons from the Heart" for my kids.
(Note: I feel that I can use her words for 2 reasons: they were put on a public blog and my blog has very limited readers and is directed for my children and after all, they are words of wisdom from a paster. I hope you agree Susan)

Here are the words from my Sister to her Daughter:
Michelle: Perhaps if you would take this one step further and realize that the only One we are really responsible to is... God...not humankind at all... then the rest comes much more naturally and easily. God is the One who ultimately forgives us and loves us despite our mistakes. When I finally got my head around that then living this life has been one of happiness despite my continuing to make lots of mistakes and being hurt from time to time. Life is such a blessing and not to be wasted for even a moment. Love, Mom
April 28, 2009 2:24 AM

What wonderful words.
And what truth is in these words.
But how hard to follow them sometimes.
But that is the process of Faith.

So based on the reason for those comments, there are 2 things that I want to share with you today.
1. people do say or do hurtful things
2. and faith

As I read some of my daughters blogs, my niece's blogs and even some of their friends blogs, a reoccurring theme is that people say or do things that hurt them and they just can't believe that someone could have the audacity to be that bold or rude. Well I am here to tell you that they can be, they will continue to be and it will occur at all ages from people you hardly know to even immediate family. It is hard to let go of these hurtful things but believe me but that is the only way that you will continue to have faith in humankind. And to echo my sister's comments, at the end of the day, you are not responsible to them, or your husband or wife, or to your friends, you are responsible to you and to God. At the end of the day (literally), there is nothing more important than your personal faith and to remember who you are ultimately accountable to.
So this brings me to the 2nd part of my blog. Now at the time of this blog, and at the ages that you are all at, Faith may seem to be an odd word or a thing for the future. But someday you may turn to this page again and you will get new meaning from it and it may be exactly what you need for that day.
Faith is not something that you can go out and buy or immediately achieve. It is not something that you do and then you can check it off your list. Faith is a process. You must ask for it. And it comes only after you ask for it. It may be a series of events that occurs in your life or a single event that forces you to get down on your knees and ask for help.

Faith is easily found in the valleys in your life as that is when you are needing help, support, to have your questions answered. But you must take it with you when you are on your mountains of life. That is true faith.

Achieving Faith may be a slow process or an immediate experience. But trust me, you will know when you have it because there will be a clear distinction from the yesterday without it to the day that you have it. And more importantly, just because you have found it.... you need to keep working on it to keep it and to keep it growing. Faith is not stagnant... it needs constant attention and as I said before... in both the valleys and the mountains of your life.









Lessons from the Heart 3.0
What Others Think ABOUT YOU is NONE of your BUSINESS
(the principles of success... jack canfield)

The best advise I can give you is this. What people think or say is none of your business. Who cares. Forget it. Expect it and then you won't be disappointed. And when they say it to your face, silently send them a prayer.... "for they do not know what they do"

People are going to talk about you... especially those ones who have a void in their own life and may be jealous of your boldness, your courage, your craziness, your mistakes, whatever. Remember that perhaps that it is their pain coming out in hurtful words. Bless them silently and move on.

But remember one thing, you choose who you spend time with. Know who is positive and who truly cares and spend time with them.

And remember the times when you did the same to others.. you talked too, I have talked, we all have. Forgive yourself and move forward to another wonderful moment in time.

Remember these things:
Surround yourself with like minded people.
Surround yourself with people you aspire to be like
Surround yourself with people who you can mentor - you can learn something here as well
Eliminate from your life people who bring you down or are not on the same path as you. They are not wrong but they are just not right for you.
Eliminate from your life those people who bring evil influences into your life - who cheat, lie and try to bring you down.

And at the end of the day, remember your Aunt Susan's message...
You are responsible to God not humankind.
Thanks for Sharing Aunt Susan...
Love the MOM!!

AM I LIKE MY MOM? Happy Mother's Day 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Am I like my mom?

I found this on a fellow "Mothers" blogger this week and have saved it in drafts for Mother's Day. It is actually a series of questions to answer whether or not you are like you Mother?

I thought that it was appropriate this year as this year is the first year without my Mom on Mothers day and I have spend much time this year reflecting on my Mother's life and my own life as a Mother. I have really given much thought about what I want my children to know about me hence this blog. And I want them to understand why I am like I am. I want my kids (especially my girls) to understand my strengths (and mimic them) and to understand my personal opportunities (and not mimic them) so that they can evolve to be the best that they can be and be much better than me!!

Are you like your MOM?

Adapted from Oh no, I've become my Mother by Sandra Reishus and borrowed by the blog Of MICE and raMEN.
Answer the following questions and relate them to your own attitude in life.

1. Is your mom for or against plastic surgery?

Mom would be against plastic surgery. For me, unless I had a physical defect or had had an accident/ illness and I needed to be reconstructed, I am not for plastic surgery. For me, there is nothing more beautiful that a mature "fully realized" woman who has aged beautifully and is 100% complete and happy with herself. That beauty cannot be bought nor can the shine and aura that comes from a beautifully aged confident woman.

2. Is she into high fashion or exclusively sweats and sneakers?

Mom was into neither. She was into practical and her dress was very old school. Mom wore pants and dresses. Very seldom did I see her wear shorts and if so they were more like capris. I never ever saw her in a bathing suit. I on the other hand would be both. I am into high fashion when it is appropriate and into yoga pants when it is appropriate. There is nothing worse in my mind seeing a woman over dressed or under dressed based on the event. It's like wearing all of your make up at the pool - crazy! And it's a sign for me that here is a woman who is insecure about herself.

3. Does she travel the globe or only go to the corner store?

Mom would only go to the corner store. I never heard her ever say that she had any desire to travel. Not sure if that was her desire or just what happened in her life. I on the other hand have the desire to travel and am very comfortable with it. I don't need to see all of the world but if I have the desire to go there, I will.

4. Is watching TV her main form of entertainment?

Yes this would have been her main form of entertainment. I have a variety of entertainment including sports, reading, crafts, learning and motivational learning, shopping, travel, the beach, ... and more.

5. Is she always up for a new adventure?

No- no new adventures for Mom. For me, I do like new adventures but unfortunately this lack of adventure in my early years has reduced my risk taking capability. I am aware of it and am pushing through it. Self awareness is the first step eh?

6. Does she love having family around or does she want more 'me' time?

Mom did like having family around but she never really told us. I only found out near the end of her life when she said how she missed and loved having babies around. I was in shock. Who knew? We really didn't know this nor did her or her husbands actions ever show this. In terms of me time, Mom never spoke of needing 'me' time. I guess living on the farm she just never thought of it.

For me... I like both. My kids know I love having them around, a constant revolving door, a big family dinner I love it all. But they also know, I like to have my 'me' time. The difference between me and my Mom... is that I ensure that I get 'me' time. I know that it makes me a better me. My favourite me time is first thing in the am. And all of my kids respect it.

7. Is she mellowing or becoming more cantankerous with age?

Mom would have been mellowing with age.

As for me, I definitely need and must become more mellow with age.

Here's an opportunity for me. And I will get it. I am sure when (and if) I retire (whatever retirements means because doing nothing is not for me) I will become more mellow as I have less on my mind!!

8. Does exercise mean good health to her?

Yes, exercise did mean good health to her. It was in her later years that she had an exercise routine and it was for health as Mom never had a weight problem and she was very beautiful. And for me, yes for sure. Exercise is for health both inside and out!

9. Is she dependent on others because she wants to be taken care of or is she independent, handling her own life willingly?

Mom was dependent I am sorry to say. For me, that is one thing that I vowed that I would not be is dependent. I am quite the opposite. I am very self sufficient. But I am glad that I am and I hope my girls all are too!!

10. Are close friends important to her?

No I would say no but I don't really know what Mom thought herself. Mom was a very private person or her lifestyle forced her to be private. I believe my Mom's best friend was her husband but as I said, I am not sure if she missed some of her girl friends and ladies from the church. For me, my girl friends have been there for me through the worse times of my life. I would do anything for them. And I believe that you really need some very good girl friends.

11. Is she able to express her feelings and listen to others?

Interesting one. I would say no to expressing her feelings but she did listen. Not sure if she was actively listening but she would be there. For me... yes I express myself but I need to improve on listening skills sometimes. Too much on my mind I believe. Some times the kids say, I did tell you and you even said ok. Hmmm it's either my memory or my listening that I have to work on lol.

12. Is she an extremist or middle-of-the-road in politics or religion?

Middles of the road in politics and in religion. Same with me.

13. Does she have a young attitude and enjoy having fun? Or is she serious and lightness isn't a part of her?

No Mom didn't have a young attitude but me... I believe I have a young attitude and I love to have fun... !! I believe that my kids will ensure that I stay young as well my independent will guarantee this as well. I plan on being a very young active grandma!!!

14. Is she completely focused on herself or completely focused on others?

Mom was focused on others. Me.... I am going to say a bit of both. Depends what is needed and who it is. I have no problem helping a stranger, I do help my kids out but my goal is always to have them be independent so I don't do everything for them. So a bit of both for sure.

So how did you fare?

No surprizes to much for me. But I am happy that I have improved in areas that I believe were Mom's opportunities and have identified a couple that I need to work on.

Let's see how much I can improve by the time I hit 50 years old.. which frankly it going to be a great day!!

Happy Mother's Day to all who are Mothers.

And Happy Mother's Day to my Mom who is probably reading this over my shoulder and smiling. She too would have wanted me to be better than her. That's a mother's love.

And to my kids.....

I am so happy that I am your mother. No doubt about that!!

I am very proud of each of you.

love you all

The "MOM"