"AT THE CAR WASH..... working at the car wash ya..."

After 3 days of driving to and from Toronto this past week, I looked at my car and realized it was exceptionally dirty. I really noticed this as I walked out from the Sherway Garden's Mall yesterday afternoon and looked at my car amongst all the clean beautiful vehicles and I said to myself "Self, your car looks like it lives in the country, you need to get a car wash" lol. So on the way home yesterday I decided to get gas somewhere with full service and with a "simple" car wash.

There is a little gas station in New Hamburg that I will sometimes frequent as it is full service. But I have never used the car wash before. But today, I desperately needed to clean up my brown car and return it to her shiny black colour so when I purchased a tank of gas, I purchased a car wash. I got my "code" and waited patiently at the car wash entrance. But waiting for a car wash for me is always about searching for instructions. What do I do after I put the code in? where do I drive? I swear these car washes are just like debit card machines - you never know what side to swipe!! So I scoured the outside of the building for signs telling me the instructions on how to make this car wash operate as smoothly as possible. Now note I have been through numerous car washes and have never had an issue but.....

Ahhhh at last, I see the sign. It is usually smaller than most. That should have been a 'sign' in itself for what was to come. The sign stated - drive in, put your car into park and do not move. Close those windows, don't use your wipers - you know the drill. I say to myself, "Oh, Great- one of those car washes that not only cleans your car but makes you want to vomit in your car with motion sickness as the rollers go by at the same time."

Now time for my code. I entered it and proceeded to follow those simple directions. Drive in. But wait. Drive where? And for how long? There is usually a red or green light inside telling me to keep going or to stop. Or better yet, a little man waving me onto the right track. But this time, there is no SIGN telling me where to go. WHAT? **** yup a moment of panic. Now you may think that this would be simple and I too thought that this would be simple. After all, with all of my miles of driving around Ontario and the US and all the different car washes I have used, get a grip. Just drive. Stop thinking like this is a big event.

I proceed still looking for some light that will tell me to stop when I have arrived at the right place. But then all of a sudden, sticky gluey stuff is being sprayed all over my windshield. I CAN'T SEE anything. Where do I go? How far do I go? ****. So silly me puts on my windshield washers only to remember that the sign outside said don't do that. AHHHHHHHHHHHH.. I quickly turn them off and lose my sight again. I can't see.

I must keep going. I am still looking for a bright green or red light. I look up. I lean over the steering wheel looking way up and there she is. The smallest green GO light that I have ever seen in a cash wash and in the most usual place. But I found it. Whew!!!

Great... It is green. Keep going. Just go straight lady my inner voice says even though you can't see!

And then there it was. Bump. My front left tire seems to be in something. I stop. Nope this doesn't feel right. Nope. I don't have a good feeling but that damn light still says GO. So I go. lol. Another bump. Yup - that is not a good sound. But why is that stupid green light still blinking and saying GO LADY. Ok now the conversation and the debate in my head starts... who is smarter here? me or this green light?

Then I realize that I wonder who is watching. (typical ego talking now) I look in my rear view mirror and damn. There is a truck behind me (a work truck so I assume that there is a male driver- another damn). Great I have an audience. I regain my confidence and think, maybe I am just on the track - the right track that is. Bump - yup clearly not a good day. (And I think... hmmm I wonder how my new tires are making out here.)

But then the door closes behind me and my audience is gone. Perfect. Now I can collect my thoughts and focus. Ok - so now I am in the Car wash. All by myself. I open my window. I look out and down and I notice that I am really really close to the red brushes on the left. Shoot - better put that window up. That was a rule on the sign. Do not open your window. Yikes. I have a flash back moment. I think of that commercial where the man inside the car gets the car wash!!. I put my window up. I look up again. That damn light is still blinking GO GREEN. oh bite me. I drive ahead again. Bump and a terrible rubbing sound. Ok this is not a good sign. I stop. The debate in my mind is over. I will listen to me not that blinking GREEN GO LIGHT. I have decided that this is not good. I am stuck. I secretly think that a miracle might happen and the car wash will start and all will be good. Clearly one side of my car will obviously get cleaner than the other as I am really close to those brushes on the left. But nothing. (probably a blessing in despite as I do like my side view mirrors.lol )

I am now here all by myself inside a car wash with a blinking GO Green light and quite frankly, I have no where to go and better yet, no car wash. Ok a problem. I certainly am not going to get out of my car. I feel quite safe in here. Hmm... well I might as will do something. I grab my blackberry and check my emails. Yup 6 more. Well let do some work. Yup -the song begins."At the Car Wash .... Working in the Car wash ya".

Those 6 emails are now complete and I am still here all alone. I look in the rear view mirror and guess what - out of the window of the car wash door I see that there are more cars lined up to come in. About 4 of them waiting. Guess what people - you aren't coming in here. I am stuck. Hmmmm.. Ok I need another plan. This one isn't working all that well. Maybe a few honks from my horn with get some attention. HONK HONK. Nope.... so let's try it a again. HONK HONK. But don't honk like a crazy woman who is trapped in a car wash, just a gentle tap will do. A small honk saying - excuse me do you have a minute? lol. Not a loud honk stating GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! After all you don't want to let those men behind you to think you couldn't figure this out. I can just pretend that I just bought an exceptionally long car wash. Didn't you buy the deluxe car wash??? lol lol

And then I see a shadow in the window. I am rescued. And rescued by what I affectionately call a "puppy" A really young male. Now since I am exceptionally close on my left side, this puppy comes to my window by the passenger side. Now I say, what happened?

Now I may never forget the look on this young guy's face. As professional as an 18 year old could be, he tells me that I missed the track. He is holding back laughter.

And I know what he really wanted to say was...

He proceeded to tell me that I needed to back up and then try it again. He told me to go left or right but then the joke was on him as he had to look at his hands to identify if he should tell me left or right. lol. (remember if your thumb and forefinger creates a "L" shape, that is your left hand lol). Hahaha!!! So once we got the left right thing figured out, I backed up and did it again. We finally got this car where it should be. Again, I think, I wonder how my new left front tire is doing.

And now back to my audience. Now the truth was out. He needed my code to reprogram the car wash and therefore he would have had to go out to my audience of now 4 cars. (Clearly my audience would know that I didn't have the deluxe-the incredibly long car wash after all.) lol.

Within seconds the car wash starts and I check my blackberry one more time- no more emails. lol . I guess that I just have to wait and feel the motion sickness for the next few minutes as the brushes give me the illusion of swaying back and forth.

Shortly, the door was open and I was free. ESCAPE my inner self said. I look up. What luck. There is another driveway out to the road so that I don't have to drive pass my audience or those puppies working at the gas station. Perfect - escape old lady escape.

I made it. I am at the end of the back driveway waiting for the traffic to clear on the road. I proceed. BUMP. AHHHHHHHH. Guess what?

I guess I missed the driveway!!! lol I drove over the curb in my rush to escape.

I laughed out loud for miles. I drive over 4000 km each month and have a great driving record. But yesterday wasn't my day for car washes or curbs I guess. lol

This was the craziest few minutes that I have had all by myself in a long time!! But I had a blast. It was all too funny. I never got mad, upset or frustrated. And I was never alone. I had some great conversations with my mind "AT THE CAR WASH" and .....all the way home!!