Lessons from the HEART 2.0

"Life is a series of Curve Balls"

Well I found it.

I have a journal of poetry. I haven't read them in a couple of years nor have I written any more poems for some time. But for some reason this week I remembered and needed to find my poetry.

I am not sure why my poems came to mind this week. Perhaps today I am given a sign to start writing again. Perhaps today there is a message in there for me that I need to reread. I am not sure. It just seemed odd that I would think of it this week after all of this time. I didn't even know where the journal was. But I found it.

As I reread them after all of these years, I am amazed that each poem that I had written was unique and reminded me of giving birth to each of my children. You remember all of the details of each birth and the unique qualities of each child. And the same held true after all these years with my poems. Each poem intensely expressed my spirit (or the lack of spirit) at a specifically unique time. I was amazed at the fact that I could remember exactly when I wrote each of them, what was going on in my life at that time and how I was feeling. I can remember where I was when I physically wrote them. I can remember the poems that I wrote in the middle of night. Those that woke me up in the middle of the night and had to be written down before returning to sleep. I am amazed that I can feel the feelings that I had at the time of writing them. They were not always happy poems but they did truly reflect my spirit and my most inner (always secret) feelings at that time of my life. I am sure that it was important to express them and that it was a sort of therapy of sorts. Therapy that perhaps was to ward off depression or sadness - not sure.

Fortunately for me, I do not give into depression or the dark hole of life that is there waiting for anyone who will jump into it. Oh don't get me wrong, it is there as it is there for every spirit on this earth. I was just always able to work my way around it or through it. Statistically it is believed that every person has a depression or a depressive state at least once in their life. It is what you do with it that is the difference. And for me, I escaped it by allowing myself to express myself creatively. I have written journals, I have coloured and drawn in journals, (Jason and Chelsea did journals with me -I still have their journals), and have written poetry. I dumped "me" into journals and coloured my way back to peace.

I still wonder why I was to find them today. Was it to share them? Was it to inspire me to start writing again? Not sure. But I thought that today must be the day to give them life and share them with my children. In fact I don't believe that they even know about the poetry.

Now I don't profess to having any training in writing poetry except the training of writing those poems in public school like roses are red,..... But for some reason, they all seemed to come out ok... at least in my mind.

So today I share one of them from 2001.

INNER VOICE

The plan, of course is to listen
from deep within my heart,
to hear the truth
the Divine truth,
so I can choose my part.

I try to always listen
but it gets so hard to hear,
that inner voice
the only voice,
of my angel placed so near.

My mind is overworking
the past, the future untold,
I need to settle,
to quiet down,
let my Divine Purpose unfold.

I must not give up... so I start again

The plan, of course is to listen
from deep within my heart,
to hear the truth,
the Divine truth,
so I can do my part.

I must not give up....

inner peace and love is sought

Oct. 31, 2001
CJ

So kids, here is "Lessons from the Heart 2.0."








"Life is not always going to fair or fun. Life is a series of Curve Balls."



Unfortunately, this lesson is one lesson that they never teach you in school. You believe like we all did that upon graduation "life is going to be a bowl of cherries" - it will happen just as we plan it. But in reality "life is going to be a series of curve balls".
So today I want to share with you some words of wisdom.

"Life is a series of Curve Balls"

• Some balls you are going to catch and some you don't catch. That is ok.


• Some balls you do catch and shouldn't have - it was a test! That is ok too.


• And the most important point is.... you never know when the balls are coming but be assured, they will come. The key is to remember that despite outward appearances those curve balls come for everyone.

SO.....

Those curve balls are going to make you want to give up sometimes. (but don't, because life is good. Cherish those boring days. Think of those balls as life lessons)

Those curve balls are going to make you want to crawl back into bed sometimes. (allow yourself 1 day maximum on a weekend to regroup if you need to but then kick your butt out of bed and face the world. It is ok to pamper yourself occasionally - I said occasionally)

Those curve balls are going to be a struggle and a challenge sometimes (stand tall and face the struggle. You may have to do this alone so stand tall alone if need be. Everyone has struggles - it is just that some are more transparent that others.)

Some curve balls are just for you and no one else in your family (be prepared and be strong - the speed of that curve ball is what you can handle and when it is coming for you, know that you can handle it - 'you only get what you can handle and the goal is to make you stronger)

Those curve balls are going to make you feel depressed sometimes - even defeated (know that everyone feels this way sometimes but it is how you handle it that is the key. Allow yourself to feel it and feel right out of it. Ask for help if you need it.)

You are not going to get a perfect score in catching those curve balls(you will not get a perfect score in this game of life. And quite frankly I don't think you are suppose to. We are here to learn and become better spirits. So be easy on yourself - don't beat yourself up when you fall down and make mistakes. I do hope that you will have family and friends you will help you when you fall (but don't count on it guys) but if you don't, know that you do have the strength to pull yourself up - I know you do. Keep on going.)

Figure out what you can do to give you peace when those balls come flying (it may be hunting Jason, or cooking Brittany, or journally Jamie or exercising Chelsea.... and it may change for every curve ball that you recieve. I showed you my poetry and that was clearly something that I needed for that curve ball. Find your own escape or therapy for each curve ball and enjoy it.)

Cherish those wonderful gentle balls (or blessings) that come your way (life isn't all curve balls - the game of life will also be wonderful, great, loving, and full of blessings. be thankful for those gentle balls.... they will come just a frequently ..... we just don't always notice them as much)

And remember, regardless of whatever ball comes your way, I will always stand beside you. Not in front to protect you any more, not behind you to push you, but beside you... lending you my hand each and every time.

from me to you with love
"the Mom"