In loving memory of a Mother and a Grandmother

Mom

May 30, 2008

God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.

He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.

He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.

His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain.

And knew that you would never get well on earth again.

He saw your path was difficult, he closed your tired eyes.

He whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly.

You've left us precious memories, your love will be our guide.

You live on through your children, you're always by our side.

It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.

For part of us went with you on the Day God called you home.

we miss you

LESSONS from the HEART 3.0

Words of Wisdom

Well I often wonder what I am going to write on the next blog and sometimes I even wonder if I will continue writing this blog. But each and every time I think about putting the bloggin' on hold, there seems to be something happen or someone who inspires me to write to my kids. This happened to me a few days before I arrived in Florida.

So what inspired me? I was reading my Niece's blog and the comments. One of the comments that caught my attention was made by her Mother (my sister Susan) and it gave me pause so I feel that this should be the topic of my next "Lessons from the Heart" for my kids.
(Note: I feel that I can use her words for 2 reasons: they were put on a public blog and my blog has very limited readers and is directed for my children and after all, they are words of wisdom from a paster. I hope you agree Susan)

Here are the words from my Sister to her Daughter:
Michelle: Perhaps if you would take this one step further and realize that the only One we are really responsible to is... God...not humankind at all... then the rest comes much more naturally and easily. God is the One who ultimately forgives us and loves us despite our mistakes. When I finally got my head around that then living this life has been one of happiness despite my continuing to make lots of mistakes and being hurt from time to time. Life is such a blessing and not to be wasted for even a moment. Love, Mom
April 28, 2009 2:24 AM

What wonderful words.
And what truth is in these words.
But how hard to follow them sometimes.
But that is the process of Faith.

So based on the reason for those comments, there are 2 things that I want to share with you today.
1. people do say or do hurtful things
2. and faith

As I read some of my daughters blogs, my niece's blogs and even some of their friends blogs, a reoccurring theme is that people say or do things that hurt them and they just can't believe that someone could have the audacity to be that bold or rude. Well I am here to tell you that they can be, they will continue to be and it will occur at all ages from people you hardly know to even immediate family. It is hard to let go of these hurtful things but believe me but that is the only way that you will continue to have faith in humankind. And to echo my sister's comments, at the end of the day, you are not responsible to them, or your husband or wife, or to your friends, you are responsible to you and to God. At the end of the day (literally), there is nothing more important than your personal faith and to remember who you are ultimately accountable to.
So this brings me to the 2nd part of my blog. Now at the time of this blog, and at the ages that you are all at, Faith may seem to be an odd word or a thing for the future. But someday you may turn to this page again and you will get new meaning from it and it may be exactly what you need for that day.
Faith is not something that you can go out and buy or immediately achieve. It is not something that you do and then you can check it off your list. Faith is a process. You must ask for it. And it comes only after you ask for it. It may be a series of events that occurs in your life or a single event that forces you to get down on your knees and ask for help.

Faith is easily found in the valleys in your life as that is when you are needing help, support, to have your questions answered. But you must take it with you when you are on your mountains of life. That is true faith.

Achieving Faith may be a slow process or an immediate experience. But trust me, you will know when you have it because there will be a clear distinction from the yesterday without it to the day that you have it. And more importantly, just because you have found it.... you need to keep working on it to keep it and to keep it growing. Faith is not stagnant... it needs constant attention and as I said before... in both the valleys and the mountains of your life.









Lessons from the Heart 3.0
What Others Think ABOUT YOU is NONE of your BUSINESS
(the principles of success... jack canfield)

The best advise I can give you is this. What people think or say is none of your business. Who cares. Forget it. Expect it and then you won't be disappointed. And when they say it to your face, silently send them a prayer.... "for they do not know what they do"

People are going to talk about you... especially those ones who have a void in their own life and may be jealous of your boldness, your courage, your craziness, your mistakes, whatever. Remember that perhaps that it is their pain coming out in hurtful words. Bless them silently and move on.

But remember one thing, you choose who you spend time with. Know who is positive and who truly cares and spend time with them.

And remember the times when you did the same to others.. you talked too, I have talked, we all have. Forgive yourself and move forward to another wonderful moment in time.

Remember these things:
Surround yourself with like minded people.
Surround yourself with people you aspire to be like
Surround yourself with people who you can mentor - you can learn something here as well
Eliminate from your life people who bring you down or are not on the same path as you. They are not wrong but they are just not right for you.
Eliminate from your life those people who bring evil influences into your life - who cheat, lie and try to bring you down.

And at the end of the day, remember your Aunt Susan's message...
You are responsible to God not humankind.
Thanks for Sharing Aunt Susan...
Love the MOM!!

AM I LIKE MY MOM? Happy Mother's Day 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Am I like my mom?

I found this on a fellow "Mothers" blogger this week and have saved it in drafts for Mother's Day. It is actually a series of questions to answer whether or not you are like you Mother?

I thought that it was appropriate this year as this year is the first year without my Mom on Mothers day and I have spend much time this year reflecting on my Mother's life and my own life as a Mother. I have really given much thought about what I want my children to know about me hence this blog. And I want them to understand why I am like I am. I want my kids (especially my girls) to understand my strengths (and mimic them) and to understand my personal opportunities (and not mimic them) so that they can evolve to be the best that they can be and be much better than me!!

Are you like your MOM?

Adapted from Oh no, I've become my Mother by Sandra Reishus and borrowed by the blog Of MICE and raMEN.
Answer the following questions and relate them to your own attitude in life.

1. Is your mom for or against plastic surgery?

Mom would be against plastic surgery. For me, unless I had a physical defect or had had an accident/ illness and I needed to be reconstructed, I am not for plastic surgery. For me, there is nothing more beautiful that a mature "fully realized" woman who has aged beautifully and is 100% complete and happy with herself. That beauty cannot be bought nor can the shine and aura that comes from a beautifully aged confident woman.

2. Is she into high fashion or exclusively sweats and sneakers?

Mom was into neither. She was into practical and her dress was very old school. Mom wore pants and dresses. Very seldom did I see her wear shorts and if so they were more like capris. I never ever saw her in a bathing suit. I on the other hand would be both. I am into high fashion when it is appropriate and into yoga pants when it is appropriate. There is nothing worse in my mind seeing a woman over dressed or under dressed based on the event. It's like wearing all of your make up at the pool - crazy! And it's a sign for me that here is a woman who is insecure about herself.

3. Does she travel the globe or only go to the corner store?

Mom would only go to the corner store. I never heard her ever say that she had any desire to travel. Not sure if that was her desire or just what happened in her life. I on the other hand have the desire to travel and am very comfortable with it. I don't need to see all of the world but if I have the desire to go there, I will.

4. Is watching TV her main form of entertainment?

Yes this would have been her main form of entertainment. I have a variety of entertainment including sports, reading, crafts, learning and motivational learning, shopping, travel, the beach, ... and more.

5. Is she always up for a new adventure?

No- no new adventures for Mom. For me, I do like new adventures but unfortunately this lack of adventure in my early years has reduced my risk taking capability. I am aware of it and am pushing through it. Self awareness is the first step eh?

6. Does she love having family around or does she want more 'me' time?

Mom did like having family around but she never really told us. I only found out near the end of her life when she said how she missed and loved having babies around. I was in shock. Who knew? We really didn't know this nor did her or her husbands actions ever show this. In terms of me time, Mom never spoke of needing 'me' time. I guess living on the farm she just never thought of it.

For me... I like both. My kids know I love having them around, a constant revolving door, a big family dinner I love it all. But they also know, I like to have my 'me' time. The difference between me and my Mom... is that I ensure that I get 'me' time. I know that it makes me a better me. My favourite me time is first thing in the am. And all of my kids respect it.

7. Is she mellowing or becoming more cantankerous with age?

Mom would have been mellowing with age.

As for me, I definitely need and must become more mellow with age.

Here's an opportunity for me. And I will get it. I am sure when (and if) I retire (whatever retirements means because doing nothing is not for me) I will become more mellow as I have less on my mind!!

8. Does exercise mean good health to her?

Yes, exercise did mean good health to her. It was in her later years that she had an exercise routine and it was for health as Mom never had a weight problem and she was very beautiful. And for me, yes for sure. Exercise is for health both inside and out!

9. Is she dependent on others because she wants to be taken care of or is she independent, handling her own life willingly?

Mom was dependent I am sorry to say. For me, that is one thing that I vowed that I would not be is dependent. I am quite the opposite. I am very self sufficient. But I am glad that I am and I hope my girls all are too!!

10. Are close friends important to her?

No I would say no but I don't really know what Mom thought herself. Mom was a very private person or her lifestyle forced her to be private. I believe my Mom's best friend was her husband but as I said, I am not sure if she missed some of her girl friends and ladies from the church. For me, my girl friends have been there for me through the worse times of my life. I would do anything for them. And I believe that you really need some very good girl friends.

11. Is she able to express her feelings and listen to others?

Interesting one. I would say no to expressing her feelings but she did listen. Not sure if she was actively listening but she would be there. For me... yes I express myself but I need to improve on listening skills sometimes. Too much on my mind I believe. Some times the kids say, I did tell you and you even said ok. Hmmm it's either my memory or my listening that I have to work on lol.

12. Is she an extremist or middle-of-the-road in politics or religion?

Middles of the road in politics and in religion. Same with me.

13. Does she have a young attitude and enjoy having fun? Or is she serious and lightness isn't a part of her?

No Mom didn't have a young attitude but me... I believe I have a young attitude and I love to have fun... !! I believe that my kids will ensure that I stay young as well my independent will guarantee this as well. I plan on being a very young active grandma!!!

14. Is she completely focused on herself or completely focused on others?

Mom was focused on others. Me.... I am going to say a bit of both. Depends what is needed and who it is. I have no problem helping a stranger, I do help my kids out but my goal is always to have them be independent so I don't do everything for them. So a bit of both for sure.

So how did you fare?

No surprizes to much for me. But I am happy that I have improved in areas that I believe were Mom's opportunities and have identified a couple that I need to work on.

Let's see how much I can improve by the time I hit 50 years old.. which frankly it going to be a great day!!

Happy Mother's Day to all who are Mothers.

And Happy Mother's Day to my Mom who is probably reading this over my shoulder and smiling. She too would have wanted me to be better than her. That's a mother's love.

And to my kids.....

I am so happy that I am your mother. No doubt about that!!

I am very proud of each of you.

love you all

The "MOM"

Tagged..... for you Jamie

Tagged by my daughter and was told this am to do it!!

So this is for you Jamie!!

TAGGED!!!! and here it goes!!

1.What’s your current obsession?

My health is what I am working on now.... not sure if this would be classified as an obsession but rather a lifestyle change but I have completed 3 detoxes in the last 12 months, started to exercise again, watching my diet and eating healthier more times than not.

2. What’s your weirdest obsession?

If I like something, I like to buy the set. If I like one book I would like all of them!!! (Brittany has this too - sorry Brit)

3. What are you wearing today?

Bathing suit and cover up... I am in Florida!

4. Why is today special?

Another vacation day in Florida and today I am going shopping by myself .... yes by myself is my favourite shopping especially when I am not looking for anything in particular. If I am looking for something special, I like to shop with someone (daughters or my girl friends)

5. What would you like to learn to do?

Stain glass classes, tennis classes (proper tennis not just the high school training),

6. What’s the last thing you bought?

A cooler last night at target!!!

7. What are you listening to right now?

the TV - the morning shows

8. What’s your favorite weather?

spring into summer - anytime that I don't need a coat and can sit outside is my favourite time

9. What’s your most challenging goal right now?

Planning the next 10 years of my life - do I continue with the executive life? or do I do something else? Where do I live? Things are going to change and I am waiting to find my home.

10. What do you think about the person who tagged you?

I love her ... Jamie is my daughter. What do I think of her? She is a mixture of things right now as she is finding her way in the world. It is interesting and wonderful to watch.

11. What's your favorite guilty pleasure?

chocolate!!! of course lots of chocolate -

12. Favorite vacation spot?

cuba.... love cuba for sure

13. What would you like to have in your hands right now?

not sure about that one....I still need to put my earrings in this am - does that count??? lol

14. What would you like to get rid of?

My baggage!!! - I'll let you decide what that is!!! I will keep that as my secret. PLUS...I would like to get rid of all those learned behaviours that were developed from having a very limited childhood

15. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

oh easy one - I would fly home to make sure there is enough food for Jason and Chelsea - Chelsea tells me the food is disappearing quickly - "Jason eats all the time" (of course he is... he is a 18 year old guy) And of course I would check on my little girl Chloe!!! And of course I would fly right back to my vacation!! lol

16. Which language do you want to learn?

French and Spanish - I need French at work and Spanish for Cuba!!

17.What super power would you like to possess?

I always wanted to have the Bewitched power of popping in and out of anywhere. I could use that right now to check out home.

18. What’s your favorite thing about the city you live in?

yikes - favourite thing about Exeter??.... not much except it is a safe place to live and it only takes a few minutes to get to the grocery shop!!

19.What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?

love my kick ass boots, bags/ purses and jewelry... those are all my favourite things for sure.

20. What’s your dream job?

I probably have it!! - 2 days working out of my house, total automomy in my schedule, I travel, I have an executive life, and there is lots of chocolate and ice cream!!

21. If you had $150 now what would you spend it on?

I need some running shorts - something cooler - and since I am going to the mall soon... hmmmm - or I will find a new accessory or bracklet!!

22. Do you admire anyone’s style?

that is easy - Diane Keaton.

This lady honours her face, her wrinkles, is a classic dresser with funky accessories and most importantly, get more and more beautiful as she ages. What a Gem!!!

23.Describe your personal style.

I am classic. I like to be monotone or in very bright colours. I love accessories and I love diamonds. A basic pair of jeans, great turtle neck, leather jacket with a great bag, belt and boots wearing either a great piece of costume jewelry or diamonds or both. That is me.

24. If you had to slap one person with no repercussions, who would it be and why?

Some extended members of my family need to have a really good slap and perhaps a kick. They need a reality check but will never get it. Otherwise, I work with a few Executives that need a slap. If you are an Executive you need to demand and deliver the best that you can without excuses!!

25. What are you most proud of?

Well this is very easy and I hope that it comes across properly.

I am very proud of me. I have parented and raised 4 great kids. Without exception they are all different and all great kids. And I have focused on giving them a great life despite challenges and many people not believing in me or wanting me to be successful. I am very proud at my success in my career and don't regret one moment of hard work. I focused and I achieved and my 4 kids are my living proof. And I did it without any help or support from my family just some great girlfriends.

26. If you could choose one person who has passed to have lunch with who would it be and why?

My mom..... just to find out why?

27. What makes you the most angry at yourself?

I am impatient. I don't like messes unless I make them!!! lol

28. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

easy again - longer legs - from my knees to my butt - if I could only just stretch them a couple of inches what an improvement that would be!!!! lol

enjoy!!

INSPIRED on the BOARD WALK in FLORIDA DAY 3

Today I was inspired. It is as simple as that.



After yesterday where I indulged myself and didn't eat as healthy as I have been (Mexican restaurant for dinner, several alcoholic drinks, spinach dip and shrimp for lunch and for a mid afternoon snack and then a 3/5th of a Laura Secord frosted mint chocolate bar lol- I was committed to running again this morning. So out I went for Day 2 of running in Florida.


After lots of swimming and exercising in the pool yesterday, my legs did not want to take that first running step. I knew it when I put them on the floor this morning. Nope they didn't want to play today. But I pushed through it and off I went. I pushed through my longing to go and have my coffee on the balcony. In fact I pushed through my desire to really do anything else except run lol. And then I heard them. My inspiration....


I could hear some one coming up behind me jogging - getting closer and closer. And then I heard a loud so very cheery voice say - "GOOD MORNING" as they passed me. There it was; 2 delightful fun loving men running who were at least the age of 75 maybe even 80 years old. Both of them chatting and laughing and running the entire board walk. Unbelievable. I wished I would have had my camera so I could take a picture of them and post it at my desk for inspiration. And perhaps take a picture of my expression on my face when I realized who just passed me!!!


"And you were tired this am I asked myself? You 48 year old thing? You didn't want to get out and exercise because why? Get a grip sunshine!!"

After seeing these 2 men, fit, happy, & cheery.... it was clear to me that the Universe had just sent me a message.

CJ.... you have many years of living left and you have many years left to run and exercise .... so just do it!!! You have no excuses. It will make you a better you.

So off I went.....and I started the running instead of walking - running a little longer and a little stronger this morning because I was inspired by 2 old men.

So I Remember:
You are never too old to receive messages..... we just have to listen to them. Just do it!




Here is my new inspirational picture:



And no .... I don't look like that.... lol....


Yet!


The MOM

Florida DAY 1.

Florida 2009

"the MOM on vacation"

A journal of sorts.....

So today, just to keep you kids all posted on my vacation, let me tell you about my day. A perfect vacation day.

I was up at 6.30 all by myself. A perfect day for my run on the boardwalk by the Gulf. Lots of early morning walkers and runners out there so off I go. I successfully completed my 25 minute training regiment and returned to my room to have my coffee on the balcony. I had purchased a vacation magazine.."Peoples" (which is a mag I never buy),. So this am instead of my normal readings, prayer and meditation....people's mag!! lol

The afternoon was spent at the pool, playing some backgammon and shuffleboard, swimming and napping. Some Friends at the pool- Franca and Dan and some summer drinks. Yes -a mindless day of fun in the sun. Tomorrow.... I think more of the same please.